Illustration by Jenny Lamont
In which DD and Sammy do the shuffle in the dead of night
It wasn’t long before our Sammy was in the little dog box again over her clothing fetish. I had kindly salvaged a used school sock as her “bedtime treat”. She refused to follow me and said sock up the stairs to bed so we carried on without her.
As I got into bed, I swore I could hear her whine. I got back out of bed and gingerly took a step or three down in the dark to peer downstairs. I could see her plump white shape on the carpet near the table but she remained schtum and I went back to bed.
Moments later The Dad got into bed and again I heard the whine. Had he heard? No, apparently I was imagining things again. Really? Hmmm… I sat up so that I could listen with both my ears – and there it was again.
So, leaving James grumbling into his pillow, I headed boldly down the SSSS (sh@t scary steep stairs) into the pitch darkness of the lounge. Sammy was staring fixedly at something only she could see. I nervously edged closer. What could it be that had her whining so strangely?
Well, I swear Sammy must have inbuilt bra radar. Being a girl, her ultimate prize is a bra and I had left mine folded out of her reach when I went out for my end-of-day swim (I know… not very ladylike of me, but there you go). And somehow – not that she could even SEE any part of it – Sammy just knew it was there!
In desperation – and going out on a limb as it’s my new sparkling white (this won’t last although I am handwashing it) Christmas bra, which was a gift – I agreed to let her have it. Just for the night! I carried it upstairs and she gleefully followed. We got upstairs and I tried to settle her down on her bed with it. But that would have been too easy. She snatched it up and promptly headed off back down the stairs with her loot.
And that is where I had to draw the line. Trying to get down the SSSS on her short legs with a bra dangling from her mouth is just plain dangerous. I was forced to confiscate it and she and I went back downstairs to find a suitable replacement item.
We agreed on Dad’s underpants, which comes in at a close second prize. I left her with it and FINALLY I could go to bed. When regaling James with the story this morning I could sense his grave disapproval, but, heck, what was I to do? Sammy needed it and everybody knows what Sammy wants, Sammy gets!